


These Feelings

by jonsasnow



Category: The Gifted (TV 2017)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Sort Of, Thunderblink, Tumblr Prompts, john x clarice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 02:57:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12621592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonsasnow/pseuds/jonsasnow
Summary: When Clarice realises what Sonia did to her, she leaves in the middle of the night, which she realises belatedly that that wasn't a great idea at all with Sentinel Services on high alert. Thankfully, John finds her before it's too late. Too bad he's the last person she really wants to see right now.(or the one where Clarice gets shot and John goes into a panic mode and Lorna calls him out on it)





	These Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> My first Thunderblink fic!! 
> 
> I am so trash for these two so I hope you guys like it! 
> 
> And feel free to request some more stuff. Just find me on tumblr (same username)

 

“You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

Clarice tried not to lean into his chest no matter how warm and strong it felt pressed into her side; she focused instead on the throbbing pain. She had to remember that what she felt for John wasn’t real.

“Gee, thanks,” she muttered through gritted teeth. “My knight in shining armour.”

His lips twitched, though John remained focused on getting them away from the Sentinel Services that had swarmed the abandoned warehouse where Clarice had been holing up in for the past two days. She should’ve known better. With Strucker and Lorna’s recent escape from their clutches, most of Atlanta was on lockdown looking for the fugitives, but she hadn’t been thinking at all when she ran out in the middle of the night. It was all Clarice could do not to punch Sonia in the mouth for what she did, so of course she had to leave. Sonia was _their_ friend. She was John’s ex-girlfriend or fling or whatever they’d been to each other. Clarice was just another mutant they’d saved. She was expendable.

“You know, we could’ve avoided this if you’d just stayed put,” John said, a teasing lilt to his voice, but it still rubbed her the wrong way because he had to have known what Sonia did. He must’ve been aware; maybe he was even the one to… _No_ , he wouldn’t have ordered Sonia to manipulate her like this. Clarice didn’t want to believe it; or maybe the false memories of him in her mind didn’t want her to believe it.

 _God_ , she was so screwed up. She couldn’t even tell anymore if her reactions to him were genuine or not.

“Oh yeah, maybe next time you can ask your girlfriend not to go rummaging around in someone else’s head,” Clarice bit out, though it was hard to sound as angry when she was being carried around like a rag doll by the man she was supposed to be angry _with_.

John sighed deeply, his chest expanding with the action, pressing more firmly into her side. “I know. And I want to talk to you about this, but… can we put a pin in this for now?” He glanced down at her, his eyes searching, _pleading_.

Those damn puppy dog eyes. He’s worse than Zingo.

“Okay, but as soon as I stop bleeding all over you, we’re going to –”

A loud explosion rocked the warehouse, jostling both of them and causing John to stumble backwards into a wall. The sudden movement aggravated the bullet wound and Clarice hissed loudly. She’d almost forgotten she was shot… _almost_.

“Hey, hey, how are you doing?” John asked, his tone now frantic. He looked frightened, but that wasn’t right. She’d never seen him scared in all the time that she’d known him, which admittedly, wasn’t very long to begin with. But John was John. He was Mr Indestructible. “Stay with me, okay? We’re almost to the car then we’ll have Caitlin patch you up.”

She wanted to say something sarcastic, be a little difficult because she could be (and it always seemed to make him smile), but the world began to go fuzzy around the edges and soon John started to disappear.

Well, if she was going to die, this wasn’t a bad way to go…

\---

“You have got to stop pacing!”

John didn’t stop, but he did glance over at his friend. Both Marcos and Lorna were sitting atop a table staring at him, one clearly concerned and the other amused. He didn’t even want to ask why Lorna looked so amused, so he instead focused on her other half.

“I need her to be okay,” John said quietly. “I can’t lose her when this could’ve been avoided.”

This time, Lorna spoke up, and gone was the amusement. In its place was something like pity and reproach. “Stop blaming yourself for what happened. Sonia made her choice; she _chose_ to use her powers on Clarice and Clarice _chose_ to leave. This has got nothing to do with you. What happened tonight wasn’t your fault.”

He understood where she was coming from, but he didn’t believe her because this _was_ his fault. “I should’ve been clearer with Sonia... Or maybe if I had trained Clarice longer.” He rubbed a hand over his face. When he pulled away, John felt his stomach drop. In his haste to bring Clarice to Caitlin, he hadn’t washed up and her blood was still all over him, staining his hands and clothes. He averted his gaze from the sight and looked to his friends. “I should’ve told her when I had the chance. Maybe I could’ve prevented this.”

Lorna hopped down from the table and came to stand in front of him. “John, you can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. That’s not how any of this works.”

“She’s right,” Marcos said. “What happens to the people we rescue isn’t on only you.”

“ _Besides_ ,” Lorna crossed her arms, a smirk tugging at her lips. “I don’t think this is just about feeling responsible for her, is it?” John inclined his head in confusion and she laughed. “Oh c’mon, John. I’ve been back for barely a week and even I see it.”

“See what?” he demanded, feeling abruptly apprehensive like he should maybe leave right now before something bad happened.

“See that you _like_ her,” she said. Marcos snorted behind her.

John rolled his eyes at them both. “I don’t have time for any of that.”

“You laugh more when you’re around her; you look at her like she’s something special,” Lorna listed out. “And you freaked out when she disappeared. Sounds like a crush to me.”

“I’m a grown man,” he said. “I don’t _have_ crushes.”

“A grown man in denial,” Marcos amended with a chuckle. “It’s okay to like her, man. We may be mutants, but we’re still human.”

“I don’t –”

“She’s stable now,” Caitlin announced, coming up the stairs, breathless and disheveled. “She’s gonna need to rest for a couple of days, but she’ll be okay. Thankfully, the bullet missed all of her vital organs.”

John let out a breath, relief flooding him all at once like a wave, and he consciously avoided looking at his friends for fear of what they might see on his face. He wasn’t going to admit to anything they were accusing him of, but he couldn’t deny that Clarice _was_ special to him. How it had happened in such a short amount of time made little sense to him, especially when John had spent so many years placing walls around himself out of necessity.

He walked into the makeshift operating room, feeling once more sickened at the sight of her blood everywhere, but at least she was stable now, according to Caitlin. John stood by her side and took her hand into his. It was small in comparison, clammy with sweat, but there was a rhythmic beating of her pulse that soothed his own racing heart. She was alive.

Light footsteps announced another visitor. He could sense her before she spoke. “I’m glad she’s okay.” John didn’t respond; he wasn’t still mad at her, but he wasn’t sure anymore of how to feel around her either. Sonia came up behind him. “I’m sorry, John.”

“I’m not the one you should be saying that too,” he spoke quietly.

“I know,” she sighed, her voice laden with guilt, and John felt his chest tighten at the sound. He had cared for her once and still did as friends; he never wanted Sonia to feel this way. He knew she did what she thought was right and that, in the end, it had saved his life.

John turned then to face her. “I’m not mad at you, Sonia. But we’re supposed to be better than the people after us. We can’t use our powers against our own people.”

Sonia nodded, and for a few seconds, they just stood there, staring at each other. He had wondered what memory she chose to give to Clarice, what she’d been seeing in her dreams, but it was probably best he didn’t know.

“I have to go help Fade with the comms. I’ll let you be,” Sonia said. “And John? For what it’s worth, the memory might not be real, but I think the feelings are.”

\---

_‘I think your spirit animal would bite me… Think about what you love… Clarice, stay with me. Please…’_

She woke with a start, jolting from the bed and causing a sudden spark of pain to run through her body. Clarice gasped, trying to breathe but feeling like there was something obstructing her airway. Panic began to seize her and she could feel her powers skittering under her skin desperate to push through.

A warm hand wrapped around her shoulders and a glass of water was being nudged towards her lips. “Drink… You’re safe now. You’re okay.”

Clarice drank the entire glass of water in three gulps and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Her breathing began to ease, and once she realised where she was and _who_ was beside her, so did the panic. “How –” she coughed, once, _twice,_ before another glass of water was being pressed into her hand. Once she downed that as well, Clarice cleared her throat and finally looked at him. “How long was I out?”

“Only ten or so hours,” John told her. “Do you remember what happened?”

She tried to shrug but earned another jolt of pain for her troubles. “Sure. I was minding my own business and then got shot by some Men in Black wannabes.”

John laughed, which annoyingly made her smile as well. He ran a hand through his hair, dislodging a few strands here and there, and her fingers itched to fix it for him. “I’m glad you still have your sense of humour.” He smiled at her for a beat before inhaling deeply. “Listen, now that you’re up, I need to tell you something.”

“I know you didn’t ask her to do it,” Clarice interrupted. “And I’m not mad at you, alright? So you can clear your conscience of that. This,” she waved at her abdomen, “is not your fault.”

“I still should’ve told you when I found out,” John said with a shake of his head. “That _is_ on me.”

She chuckled. “Does it ever get tiring?”

“What?”

Even his confused puppy dog face was adorable. God, how sickening.

“Being the self-sacrificial hero all the time,” she said, ignoring her traitorous mind and its false emotions. “I mean… I get tired just trying to save myself.”

John laughed again. “Yeah,” he shrugged. “But someone’s gotta do it.” Clarice rolled her eyes and his smile widened. “I am sorry, okay? And I really hope you decide to stay. We could really use someone like you around.”

“You do remember that my powers aren’t that reliable, right? I mean Sonia had to go all Jedi mind trick on me just to get it to work,” she pointed out. “When it fades, I’m not gonna be useful to anyone.”

To her surprise, John leaned forward, his hand reaching out to hold hers firmly. “Hey, I’m going to help you train. We’re going to figure this out together.” When she didn’t say anything, he squeezed gently. “We will.”

“Sure, whatever you say, boss.”

John didn’t seem eager to move away and she didn’t really want him to, but she had to keep reminding herself that this wasn’t real. Those fluttery feelings inside of her weren’t hers. Right?

“Also, that’s not what I meant,” he said softly. “You’re more than just your powers, Clarice. You make people laugh. You make _me_ laugh and maybe I need more of that in my life.”

Her breath stuttered and she involuntarily gripped his hand tighter. She didn’t know what to say; she wasn’t used to this, to people actually caring about her, and it honestly scared the hell out of her.

John smiled and closed the distance between them, his lips pressing against her forehead. “Get some sleep,” he said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Once he was gone, Clarice closed her eyes and sighed. If she was a better woman, she’d admit to herself that maybe those fluttery feelings had been there long before Sonia used her powers, but she wasn’t and the only thing she could admit to right now was that, yeah, she was royally, _royally_ screwed.


End file.
